I am empathetic. I can feel people's moods. I am too sensitive. I mean to not be affected sometimes but I cannot help it. For example if someone cries by me, I cannot help but feel sad too. I have lots of anxiety when people around me are upset. It can be a burden because I feel the weight of their sadness too. I am trying to give this burden to God more. In prayer I look to God to help those who need help.
I am loving too. Opportunities to make people happy and blessed are very welcome. I look back at the times people were nice to me. I am thankful for those good memories. People need meaningful personal interactions to help them feel good about themselves. I am happy when I can help. I now blog and meet with people to light the way for others so they don't live being misunderstood by their family and community.
I am still struggling mightily. My impulses get the best of me and I hate it. Meaningless actions my body does when I am stressed leave me embarrassed and ashamed. I try to understand inside my mind firing neurons from impulses and trying to stop them with other neurons in a thinking part of my brain. Peace laces pain of real magnified mistakes from popular misconceptions of autism. Popular misconceptions cause lasting callouses that ache. I plan to break old ideas that autism means I am diseased or defective. Because of these ideas I was made to think I am not deserving of good things or meaning in my life. I became hardened to not care about my life. I am now just starting to heal. Peace comes from walking with God and making a difference in the lives of others. I am caring that others like me live free from being misunderstood. Making search for autism causes is not helpful to those living with autism. Empathy and making communication a priority are the most important things you can give us.
Philip on the first day of 7th grade
Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes. All rights reserved.