Friday, January 6, 2017

Gaining Self-Control

This year I was able to make progress in my self-control. I am now able to sit quietly for long periods of time. I sit through movies, concerts, and church much better. This Christmas break I watched Rogue One and La La Land. I enjoyed them. In school I can sit longer without having a break. I have become more used to sensations I could not handle in the past. I can now handle loud noises and resonant buildings. I am able to make my anxiety calm down so I can take part in more things. I listen to my rational mind telling me that I will be ok even though my body is tense or my heart is beating fast.

Last Tuesday I went to my high school orientation. I was nervous to go. I was meaning to make a good imitation of a neurotypical kid. I did not want to stand out. I tried to act cool. There were many people when I arrived at the auditorium for orientation. The band played music. Last year I would have freaked out at the number of people, the loud music, and the pressure to behave at my best. I probably would have tried to escape to avoid sensory overload and a meltdown. This time I was not bothered by the crowds like I used to be. I was able to sit quietly and listen to the talks. I even went around to different classrooms to learn about the different departments. I was saintly during each talk. I would like to take journalism and creative writing. Taking interesting courses is going to be awesome. I am excited for high school.

Learning to sit well is so important for success in school. I progress daily as I become more part of society. I am making peace with my difficult body by getting better at waiting for my mind to have a say on how I act. Naturally I can’t control certain reactions my body makes. I am a slave to impulses and obsessions. I struggle to use my mind to plan a different motor plan to counteract my body’s bad behaviors. Lately I am beginning to see my mind win more battles over my actions. I am learning from experience how to manage my unruly body better. Making my body peaceful is freeing me to be able to do a lot more. I am looking forward to going to high school next year.



Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved. 

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