I have been having problems typing lately. I can still type with mom but I am no longer able to type at school. I am becoming more distracted by my sensory world. I feel trapped in my thoughts of madness. I see very many meaningless details. I feel every annoying itch. I hear the meaningless sound of everything competing with my teachers. I get overstimulated.
I need to get myself in the right zone to think for school. Leaving my sensory world is important so I can learn and make my words flow. The words can’t surface in the storm. I need an anchor to keep me from getting overwhelmed by the hurricane of stimuli. The anchor is my aide. I need to trust she will guide me out of the storm and keep me focused on the task. I mean to learn to be better at managing myself at school. But I am not doing well yet. I need even more support than I needed last year. I am calling on God to help me be able to get through this hard time in my life. Please pray for me.
Philip
Backhuysen, Ludolf - Christ in the Storm on the Sea of Galilee - 1695
Copyright 2018 Philip Reyes. All rights reserved.
Philip,thank you for your genuine transparency. I'm praying for you.
ReplyDeleteLord Jesus, I pray for my brother, Philip. Lord Jesus, please bring healing to his body and to his mind. Give him strength to persevere through these difficult sensory challenges. Lord Jesus, please bring your healing touch to Philip. Help him to feel your peace and presence through this trial. Lord Jesus please help Philip's body listen to him. Please give his mind rest from sensory stimulation. Allow your Peace to rest on him. In Jesus's Name Amen.
You will do it. These sensory storms come and go. The sun will reappear.
ReplyDeletePhilip, prayers and love coming to you. God hears your plea. May you find your anchor in His arms x
ReplyDeleteHand in there Philip! The best way forward is to keep moving forward. Thanks for sharing this with us. Sending prayers and love. xo
ReplyDeleteHi Phillip.
ReplyDeleteFirst, you are amazing. And you are so brave and strong. I have something called Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. Lots of people with EDS also are on the spectrum. I have never been dx, but I am overstimulated very easily. Sounds, lights, sights (things in the room), smells and foods. I find it hard to be around busy places because there is too much happening.
I take medications to decrease my central nervous system from overreacting. It’s not perfect, but it does help. I wouldn’t be able to work or participate without my meds to quiet my body.
I hope you find something that works for you.
Phillip,
ReplyDeleteI came across your blog while doing my own research, and I wanted to say I hope you're doing okay. I know this post is from awhile ago, but I didn't see ant follow up post to this.
I myself have ADHD and sensory processing issues, as well as selective mutism, and my sibling is on the autism spectrum and struggles with sensory issues as well. I haven't seen you mention this, so forgive me if this is useless advice, but are there methods you've found that help reduce overstimulation?
By this I mean methods that help reduce unnecessary sensory input. Because sensory issues are rooted in neurological differences, they wont often get better by just hoping exposure will make you get used to it, and sometimes doing this can really trigger bad anxiety and depression.
Some methods of reducing input include turning down lights, wearing comfortable clothing that is a texture that doesn't bother you, noise canceling headphones, and (my favorite) high fidelity eat plugs that reduce the sound, but preserve the quality so you can still hear and understand important information. Stimming is also an important outlet, though it's hard to withstand the misunderstanding and judgment from others. Stimming is our natural way to relieve overstimulation and help avoid meltdowns, so finding effective ways to stim is more important than appearing neurotypical, at least to me. having more sensory input control has helped me need to stim less, but it doesn't go away, and it is a harmless behavior that doesnt need to be ashamed.
My sibling and I are both adults,and doing these things greatly reduced our stress and pain, and made it way more possible to live independent lives. My sibling went from almost daily meltdowns, to not having one for nearly a year (and they had one only under extreme stress). Both of our mental health greatly improved after addressing sensory issues this way, and learning how to stim when we need it, even in public.
Another note, is that with sensory issues like these, overstimulation is really out of our control, and it can feel both physically and mentally painful, and that can lead to a lot of stress, anxiety, and depression. Its extremely common for people to have fight or flight responses to being overestimated, as well. I really encourage you to look at yourself not with guilt and shame, but with understanding and acceptance. you may not be able to change these things, but that doesn't mean you're helpless or doomed to this pain forever. I highly recommend looking at autism self advocacy network and other programs that allow autistic people to self advocate and connect in a community supporting each other.
you aren't alone, and I hope you find peace and happiness with yourself, and know that you dont have to be a different person or in a different body to do that.