Interacting With Me

Rick writes:  What I want to know is how can us neurotypical people connect better with autistic people?  That is, how can I make autistic people feel safe and accepted when an autistic person may be anxious.  For instance if you wanted to talk to me, how can I help you understand that I want to communicate with you and it's ok if you need to stim or to wander or communicate using a different method.  In other words, how can I help an autistic person feel safe in that they can communicate with me and I will accept the communication and intelligence as well as the autism.

To Rick,

I am glad you asked that question. It's good to know you want to make autistic people feel safe and accepted. I think many autistic people are shy because we are different than most. I have difficulties in making friends because my communication is so slow and labored. I also need someone to help me communicate by holding my keyboard and prompting me to type. People wanting to talk to me have to be very patient. Most people don't have time to wait for me.

People show they are really interested in me if they have patience to interact with me. They show patience by waiting for me to spell even if they lose time because of me. I like when people talk to me normally even if I don't respond to them. I know what is being said and how to respond. I just need time to organize myself to type it out. This sometimes takes awhile depending on how my body is cooperating.  I need more prompts if my body is acting more distracted. I need people to realize I still want to communicate even if I am struggling. I may look like I don't want to be bothered. But it is my mind trying hard to get my body to move to communicate with you.

I love people when they give me the time to talk with them. Learning to take the time and patience to interact with me is showing you really care to get to know me.

From,
Philip

Me and Ranger Dan. 

He biked with me so I could be part of the annual bike trip with Battalion.

Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Early Days of RPM

Sharolyn wrote:  I want to hear about the early days of RPM and what made it click for you.

To Sharolyn,

Thank you for your question. My early days of RPM were very difficult. RPM is a great learning method but it was really hard to start. I started when I was 9. For so many years I was assumed to have an intellect of a toddler. I was not challenged to engage my mind. Instead I had my senses to entertain me all day. At school I learned nothing I did not already know. So I taught myself to read the signs on the wall. I stimmed my life at home by tapping my hand repeatedly on everything. It helped me feel alive and not just a passive object taking up space. I could escape in my mind to other places where I would have a voice. 

I remember my first time doing RPM with Soma as being the most significant moment in my life. Soma was the first person to believe in me. Her ability to see my intelligence despite my outer appearance allowed me to follow her teaching and respond as my mind wanted. I felt so much joy from being liberated from peoples’ assumptions I was not smart. 

When I came home I was frustrated I could not respond to Mom like I did with Soma. Mom did not know how to prompt me to help me keep my mind and body engaged. I could think of what she was saying but could not get my body to move as my mind directed. I became frustrated and tried to escape the lessons. My mom got upset many times and yelled at me. That made me feel so stressed. But mom persisted. Dad made me my own little workspace with a small table. It was easier for me to concentrate and not escape. Eventually I got better at sitting through lessons.

RPM taught me how to leave my own sensory world to actively participate with others for a while. I first had to learn how to listen actively to respond to questions of me. Expectations that I would meet had to be meaningful. I was tired of being asked the same questions over and over again. Questions like how many, what color, and what is it. These were the questions I got all day long at school. I listened better when I heard something new and interesting. Nothing could be better than learning about God. Mom headed toward the right direction when she started teaching me about God. 

After I got better listening I had to learn to bring my body under better control to point to what I wanted to answer. RPM helped me by getting me to think more and plan my movements more carefully. At first it was hard. I had to engage my mind and body together to learn and show I was learning by picking the right choices and trying to spell. Getting a good lesson helped me listen better to Mom. Then I would learn to focus on getting my hand to choose the right choice. At first my hand would move without much control. It would sometimes prefer to choose one side. I am easily drawn to the word I heard last. My hand would pick the last choice. Things started to click when my mom started to teach more interesting lessons instead of quizzing me on basic concepts. I made progress by a lot of active engagement of my mind. This allowed me to leave my sensory world. Learning to think through autistic impulses is hard work. Autistic impulses envelope me in a purely sensory realm where I am alone in my world. I need high amounts of prompting to keep me engaged with you. I want to be a part of what is going on but I am passive because I am not able to get out of my sensory world without your help directing me to leave so that I can interact with others. I am learning to better join the world today. I am practicing by going to school with typical classmates and going out in the world more. I stay more peaceful than I used to. I think RPM has a lot to do with it. RPM is a life changer. It is worth the struggles in the beginning. It gets easier. 

Love, 

Philip 

 Soma and me at first RPM Camp Oct. 2012

My old workspace

Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.