I belong in this world like everyone
else. I have not always felt welcome. For years I was excluded from regular
education. Not learning things was practically like death to my mind. I
withered away in my own head. I became placated by stims and low expectations. Life
grew comfortably boring. I grew to believe my life would never improve. Meaningless
would be my life. I can’t begin to tell you how heavy my sorrow was. I wanted
to die and be free of this hell.
I am not in hell anymore. I escaped by Mom’s
help. Mom learned RPM (Rapid Prompting Method). She made sure I learned many
things like my siblings. Mom learned to teach me like Soma (the creator of RPM).
She practiced until we got academics down. Then she made a meaningful leap to
ask me to express myself. It was really hard at first. I had many meltdowns
because it was so hard to make my thoughts come to the forefront of my mind,
which was used to being numb. I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes it was
extreme happiness. Sometimes it was extreme sadness for being so trapped in a
disobedient body. I would often bang my head out of anger and frustration. Meaning
to my meltdowns was lamenting my autism for making my life so difficult to fit
in.
My life gets better every day. Making
peace with my autism has made me happier. I get meaningful education at school.
Partnering with my school, I have been able to make a good transition from my
old life at a special school to my new life at public school. My teachers
believe in me. They help me feel so welcome and like I belong there. I have
taught my teachers and classmates about autism. Helping them understand autism
puts me at ease. My life is more meaningful now. I have been able to progress
more. Learning is interesting and challenging. I am always looking for the most
learning. Last year I advocated for myself to go to regular classes at my IEP
meeting. The committee listened to me. This year I am taking regular science
and social studies. I love being in these classes. I am making friends too. My
world is so much more welcoming now that they can understand me. Making a more
understanding world is my goal. Peace be with you.
Philip
Philip among the top achievers at Christian Service Brigade
Hi Philip,
ReplyDeleteWhen I read your last post "I belong" I wish so much there was a way you could tell my son, who is about to turn six, to hang in there. We've just started RPM and it's really hard for him, as ultimately I KNOW he wants to talk, emotionally he is very angry, even though we see him spelling and having great success with RPM. We have him working more on literacy lessons with the RPM, but he has really no means for functional communication. He refuses to use his ipad app, or picture cards, or even his more gestural ways of communicating recently to tell us what he wants for the day to day. Instead, he's hitting, throwing things, trying to bite us, headbutting...I wonder if you have any advice for us and him. We feel as though we're finally on the right path but it's so hard to support him when he's so angry and clearly suffering. Thank you for any advice!
warmly,
Joni
Hi Joni, We have been on vacation this past week. I just read your comment to Philip and he will work on a response soon. Hang in there! It will get better! Lisa
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