Stockade, St. Nick, and Santa

Today Philip participated in the Honor Ceremony for our Stockade Program at church.  He received a Sentinel Achievement Award for being one of the top stockaders for the fall for completing his achievements such as memorizing scripture verses and things like looking up family genealogies, helping in home improvement projects, and learning some sports skills (modified for what he can handle).   I am so proud of him!

Earlier today Philip wrote about his beliefs in Santa Claus.  Yesterday I had asked him if he wanted to learn about St. Nicholas or the Pope.  He had picked Saint Nicholas.  Also known as Nicholas the Wonderworker, Nicholas grew up in Turkey and was a defender of the Christian faith in the 4^th century when Christians were still severely  persecuted by the Romans under Emporer Diocletian.  Nicholas was imprisoned for his faith.  Nicholas was from a wealthy family.  After his parents died, he sold all he had to aid the poor and needy.  He was said to have saved 3 women from one family from a life of slavery or prostitution by throwing 3 bags of gold through the window of their home in the middle of the night.  The money was used to pay the women’s dowry for marriage, which was custom at that time.  Legend has it, the gold was tossed by the shoes that lay by the fire in order to dry.  This is where we get our custom of hanging our stockings by the chimney in which gold coins or oranges (representing gold) were anticipated to be given by St. Nick.  Nicholas later became the Bishop of Myra and participated in the Council of Nicea in 325AD in which much of the Christian faith was codified.  He was a staunch opponent of Arius, who claimed Jesus was not equal to God.  Nicholas was said to have punched Arius in the face in a heated argument.  Nicholas died on December 6 which later became the feast day of St. Nicholas and the original date for giving gifts to the poor in honor of Nicholas who lived his calling of defending the faith and helping the needy.

I asked Philip to write an essay about his belief in St. Nicholas or Santa Claus.  Here is what he wrote:

I believe in Saint Nicholas.  He was a bishop in Turkey.  He attracted some armies.  They arrested him for believing in Jesus.  He attracted notoriety because he argued Jesus was equal to God and punched Arius in the face.  Arius did not believe Jesus was God’s equal.  Nicholas gave his belongings to the poor and needy.  He is a good man to inspire others.  I am a fan of Nicholas.

“What about Santa Claus?” I asked.

Santa is not real.  He is ok.  I am not a believer in him and I am easy to please.  I am so lucky to haven’t had to make Santa a role model.

“Why is that?” I asked.

Because he has to get toys for every boy and girl.

I love Philip’s way of thinking.  So practical and true!

* Photo credits to Heather Hamilton and Paul Gulde.  They were faster than me!

 

Autism and Trials

Recently Philip has had to remind me on several occasions to keep telling his story as I have gotten a little lax on keeping up with the blog.  He wants to educate people about autism.  Today I asked Philip what he wanted to blog about.  He spelled, “Autism and Trials.”

This is a difficult subject.  While most of the time I choose to look at the beauty of autism and the wisdom derived from learning a new perspective, the reality is that there are some very very hard things about it.  I do not know if Philip will ever feel completely “at home” in this world.  The bombardment of his senses by our modern society gives Philip little rest.  And when it comes to Philip’s education, it has been like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.  We have yet to find the perfect balance to accommodate Philip’s special way of communicating, his gifted intellect, and his uncooperative body and impulse control.   

  

Today’s post took about an hour for Philip to write.  Though he chose the topic himself and wanted to finish it in one day, Philip often got upset and had to run off to take a break or cry.  I was not always able to get more of an explanation on some points and I feared pushing would increase his upset.  I mostly allowed Philip to write uninterrupted until he signaled he was finished by spelling “the end.”

These are Philip’s words on the trials he experiences daily:

“I am in pain all the time. 

I hear every sound at one volume.

I see people’s taunts and I am fearful.  (When asked what he meant by taunts, he spelled “angry faces.”)

I am each day made to feel like I am not intelligent.

I am each day made to feel I do not matter.

Often I am so terrified of senses too aroused.

I am tired of attacking stims all the time.

I each day have strong emotions that affect my relationship with each person.

I each day need someone so patient to work with me.

Each day is so hard.  

The end.”

Philip’s words, so honest and heartbreaking, are important to hear.  His words give me a much better understanding of his actions and a greater compassion for him and others like him.  The greatest gift communication gives is the ability to be known.  Knowing that Philip suffers makes me want to alleviate his suffering.  It takes my mind off my own perspective so I can put him before myself.  

I take comfort, and I hope Philip does too, in several scripture verses in the Bible.  These verses show that suffering does not negate blessing.  2 Corinthians 4:8-10 reads, “We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.”  It has been a God-given miracle to witness Philip being rescued from his silence.  I am confident God will continue to work mightily in him as he grows and matures.  

James 1:2-4 reads, “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”  I am in constant awe of Philip’s maturity for his age, especially when it comes to spiritual matters.  I believe Philip has an even more intimate relationship with God than I do.  He has told me that during the years he was silent to the world, he always had God to talk to.  For that I am extremely grateful.  Philip teaches me every day.  It is from his trials and sufferings that he has gained such wisdom.  I am confident God does not waste an ounce of pain.  He works all things for our good (Romans 8:28) and uses the experiences we have to prepare us in the plan He has for each of our lives.  

    At the Filipino-American Association Christmas Party

Children's Christmas Pageant

Today the children of our church put on a “Christmas Around the World” Christmas play.  It was a wonderful treat!  My youngest daughter Lia, participated with a speaking role as well as singing as an angel.  Philip has still been reluctant to go into our church sanctuary because of the way the room echoes sound and bothers his ears.  The director of the pageant, Sarah Russo, was kind enough to find a way for Philip to participate.  She called me a few weeks ago to see if Philip would like to participate by writing a poem for the program.  Philip agreed.  This is what he wrote:

“Christmas”

I love Christmas

Time to accept a precious gift

A Savior around the world

King of Kings

Our Lord forever

He is Jesus. 

I love how Philip reminds me of the heart of Christmas.  I often get carried away with the stress of putting on the “perfect” Christmas.  The truth is, Christ has already made it perfect by being the perfect gift to the world.  The King of Kings, Emmanuel “God with us”, came down to earth to live among us, to heal us, to teach us, and to atone for our sins.  Like a child on Christmas morning, we only need to receive Him to experience the real joy of Christmas.   

Movie Review of Frozen

Today Sam and I took Philip and Lia to the AMC sensory friendly showing of Frozen.  We have gone twice before and it has become a monthly outing we look forward too.  I cannot compliment AMC enough.  Their seating is the best in the city- cushy adjustable recliners.  The price is a bargain.  The volume is not ear-splittingly loud.  Families are relaxed and used to the noise so no one is bothered by either the noise or the worry of bothering their fellow moviegoer. 

  

Frozen is the newest Disney film which is very loosely based on Hans Christian Anderson’s fairytale, The Snow Queen.  Really the only thing that is the same is that there is snow and a queen.  Other than that the stories are completely different.  However, I have to say I enjoyed the Disney story better.  The story revolves around two sisters and their love for each other.  Since I have a sister, my only sibling, I absolutely loved it!  I will not ruin the story by telling you what happens, but will give you my approval to go see it.  Unless you have a heart of ice, you will surely enjoy it.

Here is Philip’s review of the movie:

FROZEN- 4.5 stars out of 5

I liked Frozen because the story between two sisters is a good one.  I like the movie because one day I will turn another person to accept me as I am.  I am like Elsa because she isolates herself to protect herself.  She is an interesting character.  She is like me and I like her.  I estimate she is kind.  I am kind too.  Anna helped her sister by going after her and loving her.  She is like my mom.  I like this movie a lot.

Inspiration from Nelson Mandela

Nelson Mandela died yesterday, Dec. 5, 2013.  A man whose name became synonymous for peace and freedom, Mandela embodied a man we should all aspire to be like.  Today I taught Philip about apartheid and Nelson Mandela’s role in ending the system of forced segregation and reconciling South Africa as the nation’s first black president.  

After our lesson I asked Philip to name three facts about Nelson Mandela.  He responded on his letterboard: 1) He was imprisoned for starting a movement against apartheid, 2) He was a president, 3) He raised awareness about AIDS.

Philip wrote this tribute:  “Nelson Mandela I admire you for your courage. You gave people freedom from apartheid.  Please be remembered always.”

At bedtime, Philip spelled he was thankful for Nelson Mandela.

After I finished putting Philip to bed, I decided to continue to learn about Mandela.  I came across some of his most inspirational quotes.  Many of them bolster the hopes I have for Philip.  I will share them with him so that he may be encouraged too.

1)      “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” 

This is so true.  I cannot imagine how Mandela must have felt being in prison for a life sentence, 27 years served.  There must have been moments when he thought all hope was lost for his life and for the equality of those he went to prison advocating for.  What I have learned this past year in my own life is that I must never give up on a dream.  There was a time when I nearly stopped believing a decent life would be possible for Philip.  I am so glad I never completely gave up!  I can check off communication as an “impossible” goal that has been reached.  I now have other things on a list that still seems like a monumental climb, but I believe can be achieved: attending mainstream school, making a close friend, finding a hobby, earning a living.

2)       “Education is the most powerful weapon which you can use to change the world.”

      When Philip and I did our lessons on slavery, it was a theme that slaves were not allowed an education and were punished if they were discovered engaging in such a subversive activity as learning to read.  Those who did become educated, such as Frederick Douglass, were not only able to change their own lives, but also affect a change in society.  In the same way, Philip’s education will be a cornerstone for changing his life for the better.  His education has the potential to open the doors for others who cannot speak to communicate but are intelligent and misunderstood.  The current accepted system of education for non-speaking autistics is insufficient and needs to change.  Philip is among a growing group of non-speaking autistics like Tito, Ido, Naoki, Carly, and many others who are communicating effectively in alternative ways and proving to others they can learn just as any other person their age.

There are so many other pearls of wisdom from Mandela that need no explanation, but resonate so deeply in our experiences. 

3)      “For to be free is not merely to cast off one’s chains, but to live in a way that respects and enhances the freedom of others.”

4)      “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

5)      “There is no passion to be found playing small – in settling for a life that is less than the one you are capable of living.”

6)      “Money won’t create success, the freedom to make it will.”

7)      “We must use time wisely and forever realize that the time is always ripe to do right.”

8)      “A fundamental concern for others in our individual and community lives would go a long way in making the world the better place we so passionately dreamt of.”

9)      “Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”

10)   “I like friends who have independent minds because they tend to make you see problems from all angles.”

11)   “A good head and a good heart are always a formidable combination.”

12)   “When people are determined they can overcome anything.”

RIP Nelson Mandela.  Thank you for leaving us all a lasting legacy.