Philip's Piece on Context

Today's post was written for the CBC television show Context with Lorna Dueck, a weekly program exploring news and current affairs from a Christian perspective.  You can visit the Context website here and Philip's original post here.

Autism Acceptance by Philip Reyes

I am here to make you aware about autism. I am autistic and can explain autism from an insider view. My perspective differs from societal views of autism.

Let’s suppose my life is as the world sees it. Autistics pester the mainstream with their many differences. Grieving parents push their kids to be like them. I am the subject of people's pity and alarm. People pity our families too. We create hardship on everyone. People mean well but their pity gets us nowhere. People love to give to charities without knowing where the money goes. I think people should get to know autistic people and listen to instill knowledge of what is really needed.

I think what is really needed are methods of communication that really work. People need to know that peace comes to us when we are understood. I am making a point in saying we need a reliable way to communicate. Picture communication is not adequate. Conversing with words is the most important method to express oneself. I learned by Rapid Prompting Method. Parents need patience to work with us and persevere.

I am severely affected by autism. I cannot speak with my mouth. I am apraxic in my actions. I am not able to move in a way I always plan. I am sensitive to many noises, sights, and sensations. I also have problems feeling my body in space. I mean to adapt so I can live as close to a quaint and normal life as possible. I am questioning ABA and traditional therapies. They did not work for me. Learning repetitively is losing out to learning so much more. Some might say we can't progress until we show understanding as acting like a neurotypical. Trying to listen from an autistic perspective is paramount to understanding us. A sense of peace comes to us when you acknowledge we are smart. Imitate Jesus in meeting people where they are and slowly transforming them from the inside.

I make a ton of trouble in a neurotypical world. I am an alien passing through a world populated with people who fit in perfectly. I do not. I am weird to most. I am unable to process my thoughts like everyone. I move differently than most people. Lots of things about me annoy people but that is how I was made by God.

God made me for a purpose. He does not make mistakes. People must learn to love and accept us as we are. Only then can we peacefully land on earth and begin to adapt to the rest of mankind. The mosaic of different people working together will make a beautiful reflection of the body of Christ.

I want to be another contributor in society. I am transitioning from my loneliness and isolation and entering my adapting world. I love it. My school is teaching me a lot of interesting subjects. They support my typing. My school takes out-of-the-box measures to include me with regular kids. I attend church and Stockade (a church club). They accommodate me and allow me to be myself. I am learning about God. He teaches me about life and his love. I am precious in His sight. People might not see my worth but God does. He had a plan for me even before I was born. Autism was part of His plan for me. 

For Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month by Guest Blogger Ila

The Disability Community is diverse and proud.  One of the blessings I have had as a mother of an autistic child is getting to know this community more.  Many amazing characteristics emanate from the people and families I have met who live with Autism, Down Syndrome, Cerebral Palsy, Rett's Syndrome, Tourette's Syndrome, and other disabilities.  They are appreciation for things often taken for granted, thankfulness, resilience, perseverance, friendship, humility, strength, compassion, faith, and in many cases, unexpected joy.

Ila is one such person who exudes all these qualities.  I have had the pleasure to get to know her through the blogging world.  She first reached out to us, finding Philip's blog and asking him a question.  She recently asked Philip to be a guest blogger for World Autism Awareness Day on April 2, so stay tuned! Ila lives a happy and adventurous life with Cerebral Palsy (CP).  She has an excellent blog called Ila's Crazy Thoughts.  I invite you to check it out and catch some of her refreshing exuberance!  She has returned the favor by guest blogging for us for Cerebral Palsy Awareness Month which is March.  So without further ado, I introduce you to 21-year old Ila from Italy!

Cerebral Palsy Awareness Day: Thank you CP!

WARNING: this post is extremely crazy and revolutionary.

Today I want to thank my disability for several reasons.

CP made me who I am, it is a part of me and the challenges I face make me a stronger person. The days in the hospital and the hours of therapy taught me to appreciate the small things in life. Without my disability, learning to put my shoes and braces on by myself wouldn't have been such a big accomplishment. I think that is one of the reasons why I am always so happy.

My disability is the reason why I have met many of my best friends and the awesome people in my life. If I didn't have a disability, I wouldn't have been part of this great big family, and I am so thankful for all the people from the special needs community who love me and support me everyday.

It is also a good filter: the people who don't like me because I am different are not good enough to be part of my awesome life.

Because of Cerebral Palsy, I see the world from a different perspective. I think if we all put our points of view together, we can all learn something from each other.

I can adapt: when something doesn't work for me, I find a different way to make it work. This applies to so many different things that range from brushing my hair to going on a trip with my friends.

I don't care about what people think: I have been picked on because of the way I walk, yelled at because it takes me more time to do some things, made believe I am worth less because of my disability. I don't care. I know what I'm worth, and I know that I can accomplish more than people think.

I love my life, even when it is hard. Without obstacles, I wouldn't be able to fully appreciate it.

I don't want a cure, I am happy with the person I am. I do want awareness. I want people to know what CP is, but I also want them to know that it is not a big deal and that I'm not so different from anyone else.

This post was originally posted on Ila's Crazy Thoughts. 

More Toileting Tips

A mother writes:

My son is 9 years old. He will do all the bathroom steps (may need prompting at times) but doesn't void in the toilet. We have him in pull-ups. Has Philip communicated his thoughts to you about using the toilet, like what might have been the thing or things that made this challenging? Thanks, S

To S,

Toileting academics help in searching the mind to make connections on how my body functions and how I can gain control over my body. He should learn about the body in an academic way, explaining the blood, kidneys, and bladder. The challenge is I could not feel when I had to go.  I still can't feel it well but I am able to guess and I can relax my bladder when I go.

The toilet makes a loud sound. I used to be defensive of going but now I’m not. Have him flush only if he wants.
From,

Philip

(The following is a repost from before, but I wanted to include it here for new readers.)

Hi Philip!

I have an 8 YO son with autism too. His name is E. E is non-verbal. And he is still not able to communicate. You inspire me to encourage him to communicate with me. Btw, are you half Filipino? I am just starting to read your blog and could not find the answer yet. But I am so excited about the things that I can learn from you. A bunch of Thank you’s for having this blog. You renewed my passion to help E communicate and all the Autism kids. Here is my question for now.

E is not potty trained yet; do you have any advice how he can learn to do it? Again, thank you.

EM

Renton, WA

To EM,

I am half Filipino and half Mexican-American. I mean to tell you some toilet training tips. To make E try to use the bathroom, treat him like his age. I could not stand being treated like a toddler and made to pee for prizes. I did not want attention on me when I used the toilet. My mom used to do a potty song. I hated it because everyone knew I was in the bathroom. No person could train me. I did not want to be like an animal to train. Peace made a giant improvement in my toilet training. Learning going to the toilet happened for me when I was 9. Mom had started RPM lessons. She taught me about the body and how it works. I felt respected as smart and my parents loved me. I really made up my own mind to go on my own. I am the same Philip before and after communication, but I can meet my heard goals now. I wish E and you the best.

From,

Philip

Writing

I write for pain relief. Pain comes in many forms. My senses make lots of trouble for me. Tons of minute details pull for my attention. Meaningful things compete each day for my focus.  They must compete against my impulse to be drawn to insignificant things such as a napkin to shred or a glass bottle to tap. I am panicked to leave my stims because I get overwhelmed by sounds and sights coming at me all at once. In school in PE I must keep moving to take my focus off the loud echoes from the gym. I must move in my seat to not be bothered by the seat's metallic hardness. I must allow myself to tap objects to find myself amidst all the chaos. I hope I cease being hindered by stims. I am compelled to stim so much it gets in the way of meeting my goals to be included in my regular classes. I am smart enough to do the work. But my teachers say it's not enough. I have to sit well. I have to be a little more focused. I have to be more quiet. I like to write to try to think about my life and how I can improve. I am peaceful when I can explain my thoughts and feelings. It relieves my anxieties more than stims. I care to replace some annoying stims with smart decisions. I forget to use my thinking brain when my senses get overloaded or I feel nervous by people's expectations. I can remember mom's words that people like me. I can learn not to be too anxious about many things that don't really hurt me. I can reason about situations. I can peacefully breathe to slow my body. Writing is my outlet for teaching myself each day and contributing to society. I love writing. It is my passion. I mean to be a writer. I like to imitate people I am admiring. I like Malala, potent authors, my friend Ryan, and my mom. I hope to learn to be more like them. I mean to write to make my thoughts be always remembered. Each day I try to write to be peaceful in my soul. I write to heal. In writing I find my joy.

Love,

Philip

Philip's 12th Birthday