Middle School: My Transition to Society

Simone writes: Hi Philip, my son is turning 15 now and he will start attending his first regular class next school year.  Can you share your experience and also give us some advice based on your own transition?

Transitioning from my autism school to regular school was a long process. I wanted to learn more interesting things than my autism school had to offer. I looked for more challenges to keep my mind sharp and active.  I wanted a regular education. I wanted to be like my siblings getting interesting things to learn about.  

I am learning to be patient about reaching my goals. Being in a body like mine is difficult. My body is geared as one built for another planet besides Earth. I have a difficult time feeling my body in space. I feel as if I don’t have weight.  I need a lot more sensory input than most people. I get input by moving, tapping, sniffing, and deep pressure to my body. Once I get calm, I need less input. Teachers learned that I needed sensory input throughout the day so I could feel calmer at school. I was allowed to take walks with my weighted vest before my regular classes. I had times I could have a break for listening to music, rocking on a chair, or smelling nice candles. It was a good thing to have sensory breaks.

I have made a lot of progress throughout my time at Heim Middle. When I look back when I first started in the middle of 5th grade, I am amazed I was not kicked out of the school. I talked less than almost all my autistic classmates. I could not use my letterboard well for my teachers. I got so anxious around everyone because I felt like I was a burden and a nuisance. This led to many meltdowns during my first few months at school. I was frustrated because I wanted to show I was smart and belonged there. But my body was like a wild bull not wanting to obey anyone. I would even make my teachers frightened by my aggressive actions that happened when I became overwhelmed with frustration or anxiety. I am fortunate my teachers put up with me while I was adjusting to a new school.

I got better at managing my body eventually. I learned to realize that even though I felt my body's negative sensations due to anxiety or stress, I could talk to myself about letting it pass without as much negative behavior from me. My mom and I started a morning routine of reading Bible verses and a devotion about it. I would write a morning report about it and post it on Facebook. I came to the realization that I could sit still by concentrating on God’s word and what I learned from it. I could calm my worries.

When I was able to relax more, I started to type much better with teachers. I got used to each person’s style of working with me. I wanted to work harder to be able to participate in regular classes. I was not able to go regularly until grade 7 when I started science, social studies, and technology. I learned to advocate for myself by typing my intentions at my IEP meeting. I almost was denied the opportunity but my speaking up in person made the difference.

My body is still lacking control though I have come very far. Taming my body is more than I can handle alone. That is why I needed an aide at all times. An aide keeps me on task and makes sure I do not get too distracted. I could not get through my days without my amazing aides. I learned to be more disciplined with my body but I know I must continue to work hard at this.

Impulsive behaviors sometimes set back my progress. I sometimes get in a phase of impulsivity where I do irrational things like flipping light switches rapidly or slamming doors. I know it annoys others a lot but I feel compelled to keep doing it. I have learned when I get impulsive, I have to stop what I am doing and question myself why I am doing it. I can sometimes make impulses go away faster now.

I have just finished 8th grade. I participated in my graduation ceremony. I walked across the stage by myself to receive my certificate. It was a very proud moment for me. I even went to the dance after. It was fun. I am going to miss Heim very much.

I am both excited and nervous to start high school.  It will be brand new with different teachers and aides. It is going to be another adjustment but maybe I will be more able to adjust better now. I have gained a lot of wisdom these past few years. I want my high school experience to be as good as middle school.  I hope everyone there will believe in me like my teachers in middle school did.

Philip

Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Autistics Deserve a Chance and a Change of Beautiful Heart

By Graciela

Gentle autistics have many feelings talked about in front of them as if they are not present. This must be recognized and stopped. Understanding the autistic experience is hard. Let me try to spell it our for you. I am happy to educate.

First thing you need to know is that autism is not a cognitive disorder. It is a motor based disorder. As a result we can fully understand everything that is being said around us or in front of us. This ought to be burned into everyone’s minds that cares for us. Understanding this one rule really would make a huge difference to our personal opinion of ourselves.

The next thing that must be understood is that life is harder for autistics because they are sensitive to many things that do not effect others as much. For example I am always sensitive to food and am always trying to find a food that does not upset my sensitive stomach. Another thing that is hard for me is the kind of love that is fake. I am able to see through each person’s facade to their core underneath. Have you ever been angry at someone and argued with that person? Have you ever decided to fake the resolution in order to get out of the argument? This is kind of how I feel around people who act like they love me and really do not. This creates really forced relationships that make me stressed to the max.

I understand each and every day that feelings get hurt but autistics have a harder, tougher time moving on. Life is hard for all of us but it is harder for the autistic who feels things so deeply. Getting massively overwhelmed is not an easy thing to deal with. People need to understand that we are not weird but our bodies are under a lot of stress and are hard to control because of the motor disorder.

Beautiful people want to learn more and are ready to get educated but always these people do not insist on learning from the autistic experts and often become miseducated and all confused. Attention must be put on the autistic experience in order for amazing results to happen.

I have formed many opinions about my life and am fortunate to have access to a means of communication that allows me to express myself. I also am always putting my opinions in practice with those who try to understand and love me for who I am. Maybe you can try to love an autistic too. Strength and courage is necessary to get many feelings of rejection put away forever. With more love and support in our lives we can have beautiful memories to keep when things are rough. Learning to love is a gift from God. Put it to good use. Making all of the autistics accepted members of society will make the world a better place for all to live.

Feelings people have currently towards autistics are not acceptable because people are not understanding. Life is too short not to enjoy it. So I am doing my part to raise awareness and promote acceptance for all autistics. Keep analytics out of the discussion and just listen to your heart.

Autism and autistics are here to stay. Putting the effort into education that hones the strengths of autistics is kind of people’s missing link. With better education we can play a bigger role in the world. We are smart and amazing individuals with a lot to offer. Give us a chance to save the world from bias and judgment. 

Graciela Lotharius is an autistic 12 year-old RPMer who enjoys daring others to listen to her powerful words. She is a lively girl who likes to learn and who feels strongly about finding a way to go to a school that will somehow have the ability to dare to keep up with her mind while also embracing her hard to control body. You can find out more about her at her blog Dare To Listen.  

From My Heart

Guest blog by Reagan

Reagan is 11 years old and has been using RPM for a little over a year.  She enjoys learning in all her subjects, but is especially good in math.  She loves spending time with family and friends at every possible opportunity.  Reagan likes to swim, dance, do gymnastics and has been taking classical guitar lessons since September from Amherst School of Guitar.  She is an adventurer and loves to travel and experience new things and places.  She looks forward every week to worshiping God at The Chapel at Crosspoint in Getzville, NY. 

(In full disclosure, Reagan’s mom helped with the punctuation of this entry)

By Reagan

I am thankful to Philip for allowing me to post on his blog.  I am not a very good writer, but I will write from my heart.   There are many benefits to having autism.  Because I can see many things all at once I can read very quickly in my head, even though I don’t look like I am reading.  My brain is very logical, so I am very good at math.  Sometimes these things can be a problem because I can get obsessed with things needing to be in a certain order or if I see too much at once my brain will overload and I can’t express myself the way I want.

I know that I am eccentric.  I act zany with my cousins when I am with them because I can’t talk to them and I want to.  I love them very much.  This is what happens a lot.  I want to interact with people, but I always have to prove myself worthy.  I wish people could know how it feels to be ignored because you can’t talk.  Even though I can use the letter board, I am still ignored.  People should stop talking about how inspirational I am and start talking to me.  God created me the way I am. He sees worth in me, but I get sad when people talk about me and not to me.  It is true that I am still learning to communicate, but if people talk to me I will get better…then I can help them with math because I want to be a teacher someday.

Friendship

By Fox

Friendship is so important to me. Before I learned RPM a friendship wasn't possible for me and I always felt lonely. Not feeling that way anymore. A friend is someone that understands you and likes doing things with you. Autism can make people afraid and angry with you. Autism can make people find you strange and can feel sad and lonely. Autism becomes an excuse for people to ignore you or treat you bad. Autism is not the problem. I find autism is very misunderstood. A lot of talkers think that talking from your mouth is the same skill as thinking, it is not. Naturally they forget that they can think without talking but don't give Autistics the benefit of the doubt. Am trying to show people that Autistics are all smart thinkers. I am a letter talker now and am making a lot of friends. I am still autistic but difference is that friendship is easier when communication is possible. Amazing to be able to talk to some of my friends and the others are learning RPM too so I look forward to talking with them in future. Amazingly fun to learn together. I am lucky and happy to have such great friends. A hope of mine is for all non-speaking Autistics to be taught RPM and find their group of friends.

Fox is 9 years old. He is autistic and talks with a letter board instead of his mouth. He has been talking since May 2014. He loves all learning and wants to be a scientist and poet when he grows up. He lives in Ontario with his family, two cats and his service dog Tetley. You can read more of Fox’s writing on his blog Fox Talks With Letters.

I Belong

I belong in this world like everyone else. I have not always felt welcome. For years I was excluded from regular education. Not learning things was practically like death to my mind. I withered away in my own head. I became placated by stims and low expectations. Life grew comfortably boring. I grew to believe my life would never improve. Meaningless would be my life. I can’t begin to tell you how heavy my sorrow was. I wanted to die and be free of this hell.

I am not in hell anymore. I escaped by Mom’s help. Mom learned RPM (Rapid Prompting Method). She made sure I learned many things like my siblings. Mom learned to teach me like Soma (the creator of RPM). She practiced until we got academics down. Then she made a meaningful leap to ask me to express myself. It was really hard at first. I had many meltdowns because it was so hard to make my thoughts come to the forefront of my mind, which was used to being numb. I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes it was extreme happiness. Sometimes it was extreme sadness for being so trapped in a disobedient body. I would often bang my head out of anger and frustration. Meaning to my meltdowns was lamenting my autism for making my life so difficult to fit in.

My life gets better every day. Making peace with my autism has made me happier. I get meaningful education at school. Partnering with my school, I have been able to make a good transition from my old life at a special school to my new life at public school. My teachers believe in me. They help me feel so welcome and like I belong there. I have taught my teachers and classmates about autism. Helping them understand autism puts me at ease. My life is more meaningful now. I have been able to progress more. Learning is interesting and challenging. I am always looking for the most learning. Last year I advocated for myself to go to regular classes at my IEP meeting. The committee listened to me. This year I am taking regular science and social studies. I love being in these classes. I am making friends too. My world is so much more welcoming now that they can understand me. Making a more understanding world is my goal. Peace be with you.

Philip

Philip among the top achievers at Christian Service Brigade