Autcom

By Philip

I love being with autistics and neurotypicals who get me. I had a good time at Autcom. Many like-minded people were there, sharing their views about autistics’ perspectives. Seeing so many (people) daring the current mainstream ideas about autism was medicine to me. I had meaningful interactions with Casey, a music therapist. I learned I could make my body control better by assuming a steady rhythm to my movement. I also needed to think about my body's position to move more appropriately. I loved that Casey treated me with care and kindness. I am so glad I am making autistic friends too. I got to meet Graciela in person. She is nice to talk to. People were so understanding. I am meaning to fear people less but sometimes I got overwhelmed and had to escape. No one judged me harshly. I am making an effort to carry the lessons learned and memories of friends made with me to strengthen me in life. Making friends makes me overjoyed. Many thanks to all who made Autcom a fantastic experience. Mom, I love you for taking me.

 Philip and Mom

Larry Bissonnette and Philip  

(A dynamic duo)

Casey and Philip taking a selfie

Casey helping Philip become more aware of his body in space

 Two bloggers:

Emma (of Emma's Hope Book) and Philip

Philip and Graciela ("a perfect friend")

 Enjoying Jennifer's music.  She can play anything she hears!

 Philip and Kaylie ("another perfect, true, constant friend and good classmate")

Philip and Lola ("caring and loving")

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Empathy

I am empathetic. I can feel people's moods.  I am too sensitive. I mean to not be affected sometimes but I cannot help it. For example if someone cries by me, I cannot help but feel sad too. I have lots of anxiety when people around me are upset. It can be a burden because I feel the weight of their sadness too. I am trying to give this burden to God more. In prayer I look to God to help those who need help.

I am loving too. Opportunities to make people happy and blessed are very welcome. I look back at the times people were nice to me. I am thankful for those good memories. People need meaningful personal interactions to help them feel good about themselves. I am happy when I can help. I now blog and meet with people to light the way for others so they don't live being misunderstood by their family and community.

I am still struggling mightily. My impulses get the best of me and I hate it. Meaningless actions my body does when I am stressed leave me embarrassed and ashamed. I try to understand inside my mind firing neurons from impulses and trying to stop them with other neurons in a thinking part of my brain. Peace laces pain of real magnified mistakes from popular misconceptions of autism. Popular misconceptions cause lasting callouses that ache. I plan to break old ideas that autism means I am diseased or defective. Because of these ideas I was made to think I am not deserving of good things or meaning in my life. I became hardened to not care about my life. I am now just starting to heal. Peace comes from walking with God and making a difference in the lives of others. I am caring that others like me live free from being misunderstood.  Making search for autism causes is not helpful to those living with autism. Empathy and making communication a priority are the most important things you can give us.

Philip on the first day of 7th grade

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

In My Misunderstood Autism

I am Philip. God made me this way. When I was younger, no one appreciated me being autistic. I was seen by my deficits, not as a person. It made me feel so lost. It was the worst. I am so happy I am no longer there. I thank God and Soma for getting me out of silent prison. Being thought of as retarded and unteachable is like being locked away in solitary confinement except people are all around me thinking I am not there.  I talked with a mouth which did not say what I wanted to say. Meaningful words stayed behind in my mind.  How I wanted to get them out. People assumed I only thought what I said. I was not in control of my body either. I made many mistakes on my school drills. I had amounted to a pet to train through ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis). I want to tell you loud and clear. Save ABA for pets and animals. The solution accepted by my friends and me is acceptance of autism as another way of being. Then good education and a reliable means to communicate must be given. Addressing anxiety and brain-body disconnect is also important. 

I am each day learning as a neurotypical learns. I can understand everything people say. I mean to be able to do more to show people I am smart. Autism really makes it hard to control your body. In my case, I can look like I don't care or I can't comprehend. I think many autistics are underestimated like I was. I am learning some easier ways to good communication. Pointing to letters is easier than speaking. No method has helped me more than Rapid Prompting Method (RPM). I was able to show I could learn. I am advocating for regular education with accommodations such as using iPads and letterboards in the classroom.

I think most autistics invite mental challenges. Good instruction about the world prepares us to choose an interesting life for ourselves. I prefer learning to childish ABA activities. Be very patient with us doing academics. We understand what you teach. Our bodies betray us. Most of the time I cannot be independent in my work because my body gets distracted so easily. Assume competence and we will do better. Meaningful pieces of good advice prepare us to enter the learning world with good attitude toward others. I can very much feel freer to hear you and respond if you care and are persistent. I search among people a quality of lots of motivation to get to know me. My success comes from a lot of mom persisting I work every day. A quest of mine is getting parents and teachers to practice RPM more. Autistics like me need believers in us. We need you to accept our challenges and help us work through them.

Addendum:  Philip answering questions from a reader:

Do you think that ALL autistic children are just as bright as neurotypical children, just that they have sensory difficulties? Or do you think that there are some who are too shrouded with sensory difficulties that they are not able to learn well and have no longing to communicate like you did before you went through RPM?

Philip:  My opinion is that all autistics can learn and want badly to communicate. Sensory difficulties make no difference in intelligence or desire.

Also, it seems that many of the autistic kids I work with, even those who are able to speak, have an issue with reasoning. For example, when asked "why" questions. Why is it that those who are able to speak well and articulately are not able to answer questions like that?

Philip:  Autistics do not have a problem with reasoning. They may need more practice answering why questions because their impulse is to rely on repeating back information.

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Lisa's note:  This post is a response to a comment from a reader which read:

Dear Philip, I work with some autistic children and I recently chanced upon your blog. I am quite amazed by the fact that we could have been so wrong about some of the kids. We love and believe in the children, and believe that they are able to learn. But thought of them wanting to communicate so badly like you did, but are unable to do so verbally, never crossed my mind. It kills me thinking that. It got me interested in RPM. It would be great if the students took it up. I have in mind some kids whom I can see on the programme.

On a separate note, do you think that ALL autistic children are just as bright as neurotypical children, just that they have sensory difficulties? Or do you think that there are some who are too shrouded with sensory difficulties that they are not able to learn well and have no longing to communicate like you did before you went through RPM? The reason I ask this is because there are some students who aren't able to do seated work like math, or do not seem to be able to make simple choices or follow instructions. These are the students who seem much more different than those who (even though do not talk much) are able to make choices, follow instructions, and do seated work.

However, if these students actually have a desire to speak and communicate just as much as you did, and are able to logically think that and crave for that, then there is a big change that needs to be made about our thinking towards them.

Also, it seems that many of the autistic kids I work with, even those who are able to speak, have an issue with reasoning. For example, when asked "why" questions. Why is it that those who are able to speak well and articulately are not able to answer questions like that?

I haven't read your blog for long, but it's amazing what has been done with RPM so far. Please do respond to this comment because I would like to understand more about the students I work with. Reading your blog makes me realise how one-sided our approach and thinking towards autistic people can be. I hope to be able to introduce some parents to RPM if that means helping their children communicate freely.