Saturday, July 9, 2016

Meltdowns

Meltdowns cause me a lot of problems. Meltdowns occur when I can no longer meet the demands made on me. A meltdown can be very terrifying. I cannot control myself at all when I have a meltdown. Anticipating meltdowns often keeps me from participating in life as much as I want.

When I was in Canada last week I had a meltdown while going on a hike. I love nature and walking. But this time there were many people. I had to keep up with the big group. My mom kept yelling to hurry up and we might get lost if we didn’t stay together. I made an effort to make my body keep up. I badly wanted to press on. I lagged behind though. Making it worse was the bugs and heat. I tried to later rest but mom was impatient to go. Peace drained out of me. My walk was no longer enjoyable. I could no longer meet my mom’s demands. I began to lose control of my body. I could not breathe. I fell in the road queasy and completely unable to function. My family began yelling for me to get up but I could not, even though I wanted to. I was very paralyzed. Mom tried to lift me but paralysis left me hanging from her arms like dead weight. I meant to make my body move but the more it did not. Mom dragged me to the side of the road. All I could do was lie there until someone could pick me up and take me to a place where I could regain my feeling of wellbeing. Reconnecting to the world after a meltdown happens when I can meet peace and quiet. Making more demands on me makes it much harder for me to recover.


Practicing my ability to withstand more stressful situations and remain calm is a goal. I can try to let myself participate more and not be blocked by anticipating the worst. Peaceful memories live in my mind of times I have participated. I naturally mean to participate but I cannot do it easily. I mean to make fears less and make more good memories.

Copyright 2016 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

7 comments:

  1. Your mom knows you so well Philip, I am sure she was concerned for you. It is good you can express it clearly for her so next time she can slow the pace down for you. It is great though that you are working on staying calm . We all love the blog , you are teaching all of us. Thankyou.

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  2. Philip, I can tell that you were really frightened. It's good that you have been able to communicate that to your mom and others. That might help to avoid having it happen again, or at least give you each more ways to stay calmer. I've done lots of hiking and it can wear anyone down.

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  3. So extremely well described Philip. Thank you.

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  4. Thank you for sharing your experience, Phillip. I'm inspired by your courage and vulnerability. You help me understand meltdowns which I turn helps me be patient and peaceful with those who are having them.

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  5. Philip,
    Anyone can lose control when they are overwhelmed by stimuli and/or frustration. Yours may be complicated by how hard it is for you to control your body. Lolo and I had a much shorter walk because we stopped for him to photograph a heron in one of the Beaver Ponds. Iloved it and think you might have enjoyed it more than the longer, faster walk.You work so hard already, maybe I can help you learn to enjoy nature at a more relaxing pace. Next year, we can do a walk together that works for our more contemplative appreciation of nature.
    Just let me know if you would like to try that.

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    1. i would love that. thank you for a great time at the cottage. philip

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  6. Thank you for that descroption of your meltdown. MY daughter is 18 and has high functioning autism. She has meltdowns but doesn't like to talk about them. I wish she would because I think only then can we help her overcome them. I'm going to send your story to our family members so they can have some understanding of what it's like for my daughter. Thank you for being so brave to share.

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