Saturday, July 23, 2016

My Friends

Meeting my friends in Canada

Friends and acquaintances are people who make life interesting, fun, and less lonely. I am getting together with more friends lately. But socializing is hard for me. I am very shy. I want to be more outgoing and friendly. Learning to face my fears of embarrassment is hard. I make impulsive moves practically all the time. Learning to control my body to do things purposely is so much work and energy consuming. I care to keep facing my social anxiety so I can have friends.

Friends care for each other. Making friends is life-making by giving me other people to learn from and really care about.  Life would be boring without people to hang out with. I am going to teach myself to be less shy so I can enjoy meaningful friendships. I like when I can talk with my friends. I love peaceful conversations. Beautiful, cool, autistic people make my life delightful. I have practice being social now. Making friends is now a possibility. I hope to be a good friend too.

Last weekend I went to Canada to meet new friends. Meeting Fox, Brayden, and Ryan was pretty special. I got to meet other kids who do RPM and blog. My friend Kaylie was there too. At one time, we all sat in a circle talking to each other on our letterboards and iPads. It was awesome. I never thought I would be a part of a big group of friends. I am meaning to keep these friendships. I hope to get together with them again soon.

I was happy hiking with Fox and his family. We peacefully hiked a trail down to the creek. The creek was cool. I waded my feet. Fox went in all the way. We hiked back. I got to walk on big fallen logs. My day was almost perfect. I only wish my dad was there, but he was home sick that day.

I am happy I now have friends. Making friends is hard work but making friends is worthwhile. My life is much better with friends.

My friends' blogs: 

Hear Me Speak Without A Voice- Now My Wants Are Being Heard by Kaylie

Fox Talks With Letters by Fox

Life With A Boy Named Brayden by Brayden

I Am In My Head by Ryan

Copyright 2016 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Saturday, July 9, 2016


Meltdowns cause me a lot of problems. Meltdowns occur when I can no longer meet the demands made on me. A meltdown can be very terrifying. I cannot control myself at all when I have a meltdown. Anticipating meltdowns often keeps me from participating in life as much as I want.

When I was in Canada last week I had a meltdown while going on a hike. I love nature and walking. But this time there were many people. I had to keep up with the big group. My mom kept yelling to hurry up and we might get lost if we didn’t stay together. I made an effort to make my body keep up. I badly wanted to press on. I lagged behind though. Making it worse was the bugs and heat. I tried to later rest but mom was impatient to go. Peace drained out of me. My walk was no longer enjoyable. I could no longer meet my mom’s demands. I began to lose control of my body. I could not breathe. I fell in the road queasy and completely unable to function. My family began yelling for me to get up but I could not, even though I wanted to. I was very paralyzed. Mom tried to lift me but paralysis left me hanging from her arms like dead weight. I meant to make my body move but the more it did not. Mom dragged me to the side of the road. All I could do was lie there until someone could pick me up and take me to a place where I could regain my feeling of wellbeing. Reconnecting to the world after a meltdown happens when I can meet peace and quiet. Making more demands on me makes it much harder for me to recover.

Practicing my ability to withstand more stressful situations and remain calm is a goal. I can try to let myself participate more and not be blocked by anticipating the worst. Peaceful memories live in my mind of times I have participated. I naturally mean to participate but I cannot do it easily. I mean to make fears less and make more good memories.

Copyright 2016 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.