I am dealing with anxiety a lot. Anxiety gets me aggressive and fearful. I hate when I get anxious because I have no control over my grabbing. The grabbing hurts people I love. It makes them not want to interact with me as much. The more anxious I get because I am afraid of being out of control. This results in me being depressed not being able to trust myself being around people.
My mom was mad I could not control myself. She practiced being calm although she was making me more stressed out by her sadness. Nothing could be said to make me feel less anxious.
I am trying to get my anxiety under control over the summer. The welcome break from school gives me time to get myself in a good place before school starts again.
Everyone wants to know what made me anxious. I think anxiety is a biological thing in me. Fear is from not being able to stop my anxiety from messing up my relationships with people when aggressive impulses overwhelm me. Anxiety gets worse every time I get aggressive. The way I have dealt with this fear is to withdraw.
This past month my mom took an online class to learn about how she could help me overcome anxiety. I think it will help. Mom would tell me what she learned on our walks. I learned about how my autonomic nervous system has sympathetic and parasympathetic parts. It even has an enteric nervous system that is like a second brain found in the gut. The autonomic nervous system reacts automatically. Losing control of my behaviors could be linked to my autonomic nervous system. I liked this explanation because I have not been able to control myself by willpower. Wanting to behave has not made me behave.
Mom is learning ways to help me have a more regulated nervous system by nutrition and exercise. I am also trying a probiotic to keep my gut healthy. I have had stomachaches for many years. Maybe it is related to my anxiety.
This summer my goal is to get my anxiety under control. I will do this by learning to eat better, get more exercise, meditation, getting better sleep, and gradually exposing myself to situations that cause me stress and not back away from challenges.
I want to be able to live comfortably in society as best as I can.
Special thanks to Mike Ramirez of SpecialFit for sharing his expertise on the body, nervous system, nutrition, and exercise in his Parent Mentoring Program. You can find out more about his programs at www.special-fit.com or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/SpecialFit/
Doing work in the garden is calming
Mike Ramirez coaching a student at his SpecialFit Gym in California