Friday, January 6, 2017

Gaining Self-Control

This year I was able to make progress in my self-control. I am now able to sit quietly for long periods of time. I sit through movies, concerts, and church much better. This Christmas break I watched Rogue One and La La Land. I enjoyed them. In school I can sit longer without having a break. I have become more used to sensations I could not handle in the past. I can now handle loud noises and resonant buildings. I am able to make my anxiety calm down so I can take part in more things. I listen to my rational mind telling me that I will be ok even though my body is tense or my heart is beating fast.

Last Tuesday I went to my high school orientation. I was nervous to go. I was meaning to make a good imitation of a neurotypical kid. I did not want to stand out. I tried to act cool. There were many people when I arrived at the auditorium for orientation. The band played music. Last year I would have freaked out at the number of people, the loud music, and the pressure to behave at my best. I probably would have tried to escape to avoid sensory overload and a meltdown. This time I was not bothered by the crowds like I used to be. I was able to sit quietly and listen to the talks. I even went around to different classrooms to learn about the different departments. I was saintly during each talk. I would like to take journalism and creative writing. Taking interesting courses is going to be awesome. I am excited for high school.

Learning to sit well is so important for success in school. I progress daily as I become more part of society. I am making peace with my difficult body by getting better at waiting for my mind to have a say on how I act. Naturally I can’t control certain reactions my body makes. I am a slave to impulses and obsessions. I struggle to use my mind to plan a different motor plan to counteract my body’s bad behaviors. Lately I am beginning to see my mind win more battles over my actions. I am learning from experience how to manage my unruly body better. Making my body peaceful is freeing me to be able to do a lot more. I am looking forward to going to high school next year.

Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved. 


  1. Hi! I am enjoying reading your blogs and understanding more about the world of autism. My boyfriend's son has autism, and I am trying to find ways to help him have a more satisfying life. Unfortunately he lost his mom a few years ago and kind of got "lost in the system." He's 11, mostly non-verbal, but since he was finally approved for some therapy and a curriculum more suited to him, he is starting to communicate and sit longer. When you say that you are "learning self control and to sit longer", what got you started doing that? How did you learn that? What did others around you do to help you to learn that?

    1. i am able to sit longer because i am motivated by being able to attend regular classes. i havent always been able but i have learned by practicing with my chances. i try to remain calm and have a goal towards being more independent. -Philip