I love to flap my hands. No one goes through the trouble I have to feel my body. Dare to feel each moment floating in space. I carry least weight and each day I go crazy not knowing how my body will act sometimes without my mind's control. Most people have portly muscle mass to feel their own weight. I do not. I like to flap, daring to fly like a bird off a tree. I flap to mean to fly away to freedom from my body. Each day instead of carrying weight, I carry air. It is damning. It is hard to live so meaningfully. I cannot do anything most people take for granted like I cannot talk, lip read (when asked to explain, wrote- I cannot make eye contact when people talk to me), I cannot each day very well act normal. I need to flap so I can feel my placement in space. If I don't, I place myself in hell. I have killer fears of feeling weightless. I feel like I might disappear. I lie in peace momentarily when I am dealing with pillows of cotton. I love blankets for this reason too. I am insensitive to recreational behaviors like learning sports bc I cannot play like everyone else. I dearly need to exercise. I barely have strength in my muscles. I even have no meaningful movement except my finger. Each day I dearly need a sensory diet. I have a goal of easing my ability to annoy others. I am not trying to annoy others but it happens all day long.