On Occupational Therapy

AM writes:

I have a question.  I am an OT.  I work with several young ones like yourself. I have talked to parents about RPM, but they continue on a different path.  What can I do within my treatment session that will benefit these kiddos the best? Thank you in advance for your answer.

To AM,

I am day-to-day looking for solutions to my problem of finding my body in space. I want to act appropriately. I am naturally an awkward person. I move when I am supposed to be still. I freeze when I am supposed to move. I can’t get my body to move right. I have brain-body disconnect. It is meaningful when my brain and body cooperate.

I would like an OT to day-to-day come up with a plan for me. I want good skills that help me do things around the house and at school. I want to be able to pick out my own clothes and dress myself. I want people to think I am helpful. I pay attention to another person who needs help. I want my body to be motivated to help. My mind wishes to help. But my body rebels like a naughty child. I may want to be a man but my manner is like a child. Bearing my body is the hardest thing. I love my autistic thoughts but not my motor problems.

An OT can help by understanding our sensory needs. I cannot feel my body in space. I think an OT can make me learn to find my body in space by exercise, more weight training, and practicing muscle memory. Bike riding was learned this way. Bike riding is now my favorite thing to do. I lament very useless things done in OT. No benefit came to me from swinging or being brushed on my skin. It was a waste of time. I am glad I don’t have to do that anymore. I want to learn important skills with an OT. Reading a book on my own, writing words, drawing pictures, typing independently, and managing my self care are things an OT ought to work on to help me.

Philip

Starting RPM and the Problem of Automatic Movement

TF asks:

Is it normal for there to be a lot of frustration when starting RPM?  My son tried to spell something on the board tonight but I could only get some of it out of him.  He said, "no one ever noticed."  Now he's in bed screaming.  I keep trying to comfort him but it's just not working.

To TF,

I want to talk about starting RPM. When I first started, I got frustrated because I wanted to be able to do it well right away. But I was unable to get my body to cooperate. I talked the answers in my head. But my very carefully made answers could not be expressed. I had to practice every day. I tended to go to an automatic motion. I went to make a motion to spell my answer but my finger would get distracted. I needed a prompt to get me out of my automatic responses. I am truthfully trying to do my best to get my words out without getting distracted. It is hard for me. I can’t get myself out of my automatic rhythms sometimes. My body can feel like it has a mind that is not in control of it. I may know exactly how I want to move, but my body has a set of commands it follows that I did not order. I am coaching myself constantly to carry out the right instructions. I am daily fighting the impulses that make my body automatically move without the planning from my thinking mind. It is very tiring and a part of my life always. No one can fully understand unless they are autistic too.

Philip

Anxiety

By Philip

Anxiety gets in the way of my life. My body not working well causes anxiety. Anxiety further causes my body to fail me. I can't escape anxiety. I am anxious all the time. 

I want to be able to control my body better.  I have a body with a mind of its own. I am practically pleading with my body each day to listen to my mind. I try to get it to act normally but my body won't listen to my instructions. I mean to learn to use my thinking brain more than my impulsive brain. I am annoying to live with. I often go to my siblings’ and parents' bedrooms and take their toothbrushes. I am really bad. I mess so many things. I am ruled by impulses in these moments. I am an escaper too. I have a tendency to ask for the bathroom to avoid uncomfortable situations. I flee when I am overwhelmed with stress or fear and don't know what to do. I am shy. I wish I could have a more outgoing personality. Peace could come if I could control my actions better. I am so paranoid I will lose control and make a fool of myself. I am peacefully accepting I cannot make my autism go away. Therefore I am going to have to live my best with autism. I am making an effort to put more good practice in purposeful movement. I want to act more normally and appropriately.

Autism is very very challenging because it affects everything I experience. I am always trying to protect myself from an overwhelming feeling of dread. It can come anytime:  a child's cry, a bombardment of sound, or a tough patch in my development in communication. These can make me feel so helpless, out of control, and painful. Nothing pacifies me completely. I go to God's word to help me. It helps but accepting wisdom the Lord gives is by faith and trust. It talks to me only when I am seeking. But asserting God's wisdom asks I be peaceful enough to hear. My prayer is that God give me a less anxious heart so I can make a wise choice to daily participate in the world more. I sometimes wish I could see Him and ask Him to rid me of anxiety for good.

A moment of calm at the lake.

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.