Philip's Letter to Parents

This is a letter from Philip to parents who have contacted him to address their fears and worries about their children diagnosed with autism. 

Dear Parents,

As an autistic boy, I want you to know I am happy. My autistic neurology makes me think very differently than most people. I can sense the world keenly, making me a very observant person. People make wrong assumptions about people who don't act like a typical person. Making assumptions about something as important as your child is dangerous if you make the wrong conclusions. I have lived the consequences of my parents' wrong assumptions. Being thought as retarded and in need of remedial education assigned me to many years of ABA and useless therapies based on neurotypical assumptions of autism. Man assumes many things they don't really know. The best way to know someone is to hear from them personally. The only way to hear from me has been through RPM (Rapid Prompting Method). I think most autistic people can make use of assistive means to communicate. Parents should look into learning more communication methods. Body awareness programs would also help a lot. My parents have done a lot of therapies. Making life as normal as possible and helping us to communicate is what makes the biggest difference in our lives. Please teach us interesting things.  Don’t just address the things you want to fix. Accept us the same way you want to be accepted yourself. Mainly, maintain an attitude of love and patience towards us. Making us feel loved is an essential part of helping us meet the challenges of living in this world.

Love,

Philip

September 2015

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Empathy

I am empathetic. I can feel people's moods.  I am too sensitive. I mean to not be affected sometimes but I cannot help it. For example if someone cries by me, I cannot help but feel sad too. I have lots of anxiety when people around me are upset. It can be a burden because I feel the weight of their sadness too. I am trying to give this burden to God more. In prayer I look to God to help those who need help.

I am loving too. Opportunities to make people happy and blessed are very welcome. I look back at the times people were nice to me. I am thankful for those good memories. People need meaningful personal interactions to help them feel good about themselves. I am happy when I can help. I now blog and meet with people to light the way for others so they don't live being misunderstood by their family and community.

I am still struggling mightily. My impulses get the best of me and I hate it. Meaningless actions my body does when I am stressed leave me embarrassed and ashamed. I try to understand inside my mind firing neurons from impulses and trying to stop them with other neurons in a thinking part of my brain. Peace laces pain of real magnified mistakes from popular misconceptions of autism. Popular misconceptions cause lasting callouses that ache. I plan to break old ideas that autism means I am diseased or defective. Because of these ideas I was made to think I am not deserving of good things or meaning in my life. I became hardened to not care about my life. I am now just starting to heal. Peace comes from walking with God and making a difference in the lives of others. I am caring that others like me live free from being misunderstood.  Making search for autism causes is not helpful to those living with autism. Empathy and making communication a priority are the most important things you can give us.

Philip on the first day of 7th grade

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

Anxiety

By Philip

Anxiety gets in the way of my life. My body not working well causes anxiety. Anxiety further causes my body to fail me. I can't escape anxiety. I am anxious all the time. 

I want to be able to control my body better.  I have a body with a mind of its own. I am practically pleading with my body each day to listen to my mind. I try to get it to act normally but my body won't listen to my instructions. I mean to learn to use my thinking brain more than my impulsive brain. I am annoying to live with. I often go to my siblings’ and parents' bedrooms and take their toothbrushes. I am really bad. I mess so many things. I am ruled by impulses in these moments. I am an escaper too. I have a tendency to ask for the bathroom to avoid uncomfortable situations. I flee when I am overwhelmed with stress or fear and don't know what to do. I am shy. I wish I could have a more outgoing personality. Peace could come if I could control my actions better. I am so paranoid I will lose control and make a fool of myself. I am peacefully accepting I cannot make my autism go away. Therefore I am going to have to live my best with autism. I am making an effort to put more good practice in purposeful movement. I want to act more normally and appropriately.

Autism is very very challenging because it affects everything I experience. I am always trying to protect myself from an overwhelming feeling of dread. It can come anytime:  a child's cry, a bombardment of sound, or a tough patch in my development in communication. These can make me feel so helpless, out of control, and painful. Nothing pacifies me completely. I go to God's word to help me. It helps but accepting wisdom the Lord gives is by faith and trust. It talks to me only when I am seeking. But asserting God's wisdom asks I be peaceful enough to hear. My prayer is that God give me a less anxious heart so I can make a wise choice to daily participate in the world more. I sometimes wish I could see Him and ask Him to rid me of anxiety for good.

A moment of calm at the lake.

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.