I am empathetic. I can feel
people's moods. I am too sensitive. I mean to not be affected sometimes
but I cannot help it. For example if someone cries by me, I cannot help but
feel sad too. I have lots of anxiety when people around me are upset. It can be
a burden because I feel the weight of their sadness too. I am trying to give this burden
to God more. In prayer I look to God to help those who need help.
I am loving too. Opportunities to make
people happy and blessed are very welcome. I look back at the times people were
nice to me. I am thankful for those good memories. People need meaningful
personal interactions to help them feel good about themselves. I am happy
when I can help. I now blog and meet with people to light the way for others so
they don't live being misunderstood by their family and community.
I am still struggling mightily. My
impulses get the best of me and I hate it. Meaningless actions my body
does when I am stressed leave me embarrassed and ashamed. I try to understand
inside my mind firing neurons from impulses and trying to stop them with other neurons
in a thinking part of my brain. Peace laces pain of real magnified mistakes
from popular misconceptions of autism. Popular misconceptions cause lasting
callouses that ache. I plan to break old ideas that autism means I am diseased
or defective. Because of these ideas I was made to think I am not deserving of good
things or meaning in my life. I became hardened to not care about my life. I am
now just starting to heal. Peace comes from walking with God and making a
difference in the lives of others. I am caring that others like me live free
from being misunderstood. Making search for autism causes is not helpful
to those living with autism. Empathy and making communication a priority are
the most important things you can give us.
Philip on the first day of 7th grade
Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes. All rights reserved.
Hi Philip (and mom!). I'm following your journey all the way from Sweden and I just wanted to think you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. It's a big help for me, since I am mother to a girl with autism.
ReplyDeleteSo thank you! And keep writing, you've GoT a true gift <3
Hi Philip! Since you are writing about some myths can you write about this:
ReplyDeleteI hear very often that autistics have difficulty reading body language of those around them, especially in social interactions. But my personal experience is that autistics are very perceptive and often pick up on very small details. What is your experience?
Philip's mom, can you share your opinion as well?
Philip will be working on a post to answer your question soon. We have gotten quite busy lately. Thanks for your comment!
DeletePhilip, have you heard of temperament theory? How do you think autism and temperament can intertwine?
ReplyDeleteIn stressed situations I usually have some almost negligible spasms. Usually the shoulders and arms act as if they lost their balance and are swinging. I try to relax, take a deep breath and imagine that I am going back to control my body.
ReplyDeleteWhen we designed our thinking in our body it tends to assimilate with some difficulty not? If you imagine the scene, close your eyes or look off into space while thinking about improving your body and dissipating this energy that causes the movement becomes easier.