I write for pain relief. Pain comes in
many forms. My senses make lots of trouble for me. Tons of minute details pull
for my attention. Meaningful things compete each day for my focus. They must compete against my impulse to be
drawn to insignificant things such as a napkin to shred or a glass bottle to
tap. I am panicked to leave my stims because I get overwhelmed by sounds and
sights coming at me all at once. In school in PE I must keep moving to take my
focus off the loud echoes from the gym. I must move in my seat to not be
bothered by the seat's metallic hardness. I must allow myself to tap objects to
find myself amidst all the chaos. I hope I cease being hindered by stims. I am
compelled to stim so much it gets in the way of meeting my goals to be included
in my regular classes. I am smart enough to do the work. But my teachers say
it's not enough. I have to sit well. I have to be a little more focused. I have
to be more quiet. I like to write to try to think about my life and how I can
improve. I am peaceful when I can explain my thoughts and feelings. It relieves
my anxieties more than stims. I care to replace some annoying stims with smart
decisions. I forget to use my thinking brain when my senses get overloaded or I
feel nervous by people's expectations. I can remember mom's words that people
like me. I can learn not to be too anxious about many things that don't really
hurt me. I can reason about situations. I can peacefully breathe to slow my
body. Writing is my outlet for teaching myself each day and contributing
to society. I love writing. It is my passion. I mean to be a writer. I like to
imitate people I am admiring. I like Malala, potent authors, my friend Ryan,
and my mom. I hope to learn to be more like them. I mean to write to make my
thoughts be always remembered. Each day I try to write to be peaceful in my
soul. I write to heal. In writing I find my joy.
Love,
Philip
Philip's 12th Birthday
Hi Lisa! Is there an email I can use to contact you? I have a special request.
ReplyDeleteHi Natalia, You can reach me on the blog Facebook page or buffalosomarpm@gmail.com.
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