Tuesday, February 3, 2015

Aggression Explained

Ms. K writes:

Hi Philip!

I found your blog through The Mighty, and just wanted to start off by saying thanks for sharing your thoughts with the world. 

I have a cousin who has autism and does not speak. He's an adolescent and getting to the point where he has violent behaviors that we're not able to de-escalate or predict easily. For instance, he pinches and hits very often, even when he doesn't appear to be upset at all. Do you have any advice for how to help him reduce these types of behaviors or any insight as to what may be causing him to act this way?
 
Thanks so much and keep it up!
Ms. K


To Ms. K,

I am telling you about aggression. I act aggressive when I feel extremely anxious.  I get anxious in a brand new situation or a stressful time. I have stress when I am not able to properly act to expectations. I go seeking my stims a lot for comfort. Treacherous times come when my stims are not enough to calm me. I try to get away at all costs. I will pull at people's clothes or bang my head. People try to stop me but I don't have the ability until I meet peace again. I understand I hurt people and I hate when I do it. I feel so sorry. To deescalate aggression, attend to making me safe and let me have time to rest. Peace will come again.

Nonverbal people who cannot communicate well have a lot of fear and frustration. They aggress to show their feelings. I was once there. It was a nightmare. I am acting now as an advocate for them. I am teaching people to get learning about RPM (Rapid Prompting Method) and alter people's lives with communication.

From,

Philip


8 comments:

  1. Where can I find more information about RPM? Thanks :-)

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    1. You can learn more about RPM on the official website www.halo-soma.org. I also have information on my blog under the pages section. Facebook has a closed group called Unlocking Voices-Using RPM. You will have to request to access it. It's a great resource with wonderful people on it. If you have trouble accessing it, message me on facebook.

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  2. As the parent, who's son is non verbal I truly appreciate what you've written about aggression. My son isn't aggressive at home but has been at school and I know it is for the same reasons you state. Thank you for writing your blog.

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  3. I am new with all of this & was just introduced to your blog (SO amazing, you are!). But I keep seeing the term "stim"....Im guessing it's a form of stimulation but can you explain it briefly please? Thanks!

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    1. Hi, stim is short for self-stimulating behavior. You might also hear the term "repetitive, stereotypic" behaviors. These include hand flapping, rocking, twirling strings, and other similar behaviors. They serve various purposes such as filtering unwanted stimuli, finding your place in space (proprioception), and relaxation. However, these can also become disruptive by annoying others or becoming an obsession that keeps the autistic person away from better things.

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  4. Our daughter was recently diagnosed with Autism and it can be very hard in regards to speech. She is 3 1/2 years old and moderate-severely speech delayed. When she tries to talk it's mostly one word and the rest is mumbo jumbo and we tend to guess a lot what she tries to say. By doing that she gets really frustrated and acts out:( she also LOVES repetitive activities/play..... I.e. She will line all her toys up or patterns, etc... Her form of playing. Any recommendations on helping with her aggressive behavior- she will bite, hit, kick and has drawn blood before. ??? Trissi's Mom

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    1. I read Philip your question and his response was: She means to momentarily make people leave her alone. Please give her space. Peace will come again. Please make her safe and secure.

      Philip sounds a lot like your daughter when he was her age. He also only had a few words and could not express himself beyond a few requests. He LOVED to line things up too, especially his flashcards which had pictures with the words undersneath. Only years later did I learn he was teaching himself to read. You may want to try giving her these kinds of flashcards to help her with early literacy. Back then I did not have the answers as to how to deal with aggressive behaviors, but I will try to give some retrospective advice based on what I now know. First, allow your daughter any form of communication. If she leads you by the hand or points with her eyes to what she wants, accept that as communication. It does not have to be speech. You can always try to pull for it also, or model the words for it in addition. You can also try using a dry erase board to spell out choices for her to point to. These are building blocks in later being able to type or use a letter board to communicate.

      If she is already in the act of aggression, do not fuel the fire by yelling, hitting back, or attempting to restrain her. Keep your voice low and calm, trying to make her feel more secure. We have a safe place in our house which is a corner behind our loveseat which has blankets and pillows. We let Philip chill there if he needs a break. If the aggression is more of an attempt to get out of doing something she has to do, try your best to work through it without getting emotional. You might give her a stim toy or something to keep her busy to distract her. As Philip said, making your daughter feel safe and secure, as well as loved, should be your main objectives.

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  5. My son, 13 years old, is non verbal. He does not act out much to others anymore but he started doing harm to himself. He started a few months ago at picking at his nails and the skin around his nails both on his hands and his feet. He does it so bad that he draws blood from peeling his nails as low as he can and by pulling the skin (cuticles) back to far. We all stop him when we see him doing it but he is doing it more and more now. We don't know why he started doing this and we do not know how to help him stop doing it. He does not like anything out of place and sees any and all the imperfection around him especially on himself. We think this might be the reason hes doing this, but how can we help him stop?

    Thank You for everything you are doing here! You have helped us understand our Son more and have given us a new look at why he does what he does!

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