Thursday, May 16, 2019

My Body's Struggle

I am autistic and have dyspraxia. That means I have problems making my body move the way I want it to. This is why I have trouble speaking, writing, and using my gross motor skills to interact with others. Having dyspraxia is the biggest problem for me. It is what confuses people most and makes me feel the most isolated. 

My body’s behavior is a very poor reflection of who I am on the inside. I am seemingly a lost child unaware of what is going on around me.  I come across as not being smart or capable. I mean to be more helpful but I am barely able to make myself stay regulated to do much without being beckoned to stim or give into an impulse to relieve stress. My body is a saboteur to my mind’s true intentions. 

If my body were in control I would make it sit attentively in class. I would take the most interesting classes which for me are math and social studies. I would be able to write complex equations by myself and be able to solve them. I would want to learn to play the piano like Mozart my favorite composer. I would try out for the soccer team and have lots of friends. I would be very active in volunteering to help my school be a place that includes everyone because I know what it is like to be an outsider. 

Making my body cooperate is my life long struggle. I work on it by exercising to make stronger neural connections. I continue Rapid Prompting Method to build my communication skills with new people and get more independent. I have hope I will improve in my body. Rehearsing the future me in my mind of how I can be gives me the power to work hard and not give up.


Copyright 2019 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

10 comments:

  1. you are a true warrior.. I admire and respect you. you give hope to others. God bless you dearest.

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  2. You are a role model and a true warrior. I admire and respect you immensely. you give us hope for others. its nice to hear what you think versus what others see. God bless you dearest.

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  3. So inspiring! My son has the same struggles and I want to help him. I would love to know how you are trying to tackle this problem and how as a parent can help?

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    1. I am doing exercises to develop my brain. I crawl on my hands and knees and on my tummy everyday. I am also doing rapid prompting method. I have done rpm for many years. you can help your son by helping him exercise and doing rpm lessons every day.

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  4. This is from B. : "I am your friend. Stay positive. Stay loving. You are kind and brave."

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    1. Hi B. I am glad you liked my blog. You are a good friend. Philip.

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  5. Hi Philip,
    I'm so proud of all your hard work! You may remember my son, Dillon Williams, who is about your age who used to attend Randall Church with you when we lived in Williamsville from 2008-2012. Dil is now 16 years old. He has autism as well. He was able to pick up speech and attends grade-level and honors classes in high school but still struggles in many areas. One of his biggest challenges thst have become more pronounced with age are stims -- both physical stims (arm and hand flapping, pacing, neck-head whips, etc) and vocal stims (humming, groans, grunts, and other sound effects). If you have any insight in physical exercises that you think might be helpful in targeting his stimming when he's in a situation where he'd rather not stim, we'd love your feedback! Keep up the good work, Philip! You are an inspiration to us all and an invaluable resource to the autism community both for those with autism and for their support systems. I love how God is using you in this way. Skies the limit!

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    1. I remember Dillan from Sunday school. I think stims aren't bad. if Dillan doesn't want to stim he could maybe try finding a replacement activity. I don't think exercises have helped my stims but they help me feel more calm so that I don't have as many outbursts.

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  6. You are an amazing person! I draw on your braveness to help my sons! God bless you....and please keep sharing.

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  7. I am glad the exercises are helping you. Physical exercise is good for us all. I need to exercise more frequently, I feel better when I do. Also, I like your shirt.it says you never walk alone, how true for those of us who know Christ, Hehavs given us His Spirt, to walk beside, and behind, and before us and live in us, so much more than ‘enough’. He fills us!
    I love you,
    Grams

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