Middle School: My Transition to Society

Simone writes: Hi Philip, my son is turning 15 now and he will start attending his first regular class next school year.  Can you share your experience and also give us some advice based on your own transition?

Transitioning from my autism school to regular school was a long process. I wanted to learn more interesting things than my autism school had to offer. I looked for more challenges to keep my mind sharp and active.  I wanted a regular education. I wanted to be like my siblings getting interesting things to learn about.  

I am learning to be patient about reaching my goals. Being in a body like mine is difficult. My body is geared as one built for another planet besides Earth. I have a difficult time feeling my body in space. I feel as if I don’t have weight.  I need a lot more sensory input than most people. I get input by moving, tapping, sniffing, and deep pressure to my body. Once I get calm, I need less input. Teachers learned that I needed sensory input throughout the day so I could feel calmer at school. I was allowed to take walks with my weighted vest before my regular classes. I had times I could have a break for listening to music, rocking on a chair, or smelling nice candles. It was a good thing to have sensory breaks.

I have made a lot of progress throughout my time at Heim Middle. When I look back when I first started in the middle of 5th grade, I am amazed I was not kicked out of the school. I talked less than almost all my autistic classmates. I could not use my letterboard well for my teachers. I got so anxious around everyone because I felt like I was a burden and a nuisance. This led to many meltdowns during my first few months at school. I was frustrated because I wanted to show I was smart and belonged there. But my body was like a wild bull not wanting to obey anyone. I would even make my teachers frightened by my aggressive actions that happened when I became overwhelmed with frustration or anxiety. I am fortunate my teachers put up with me while I was adjusting to a new school.

I got better at managing my body eventually. I learned to realize that even though I felt my body's negative sensations due to anxiety or stress, I could talk to myself about letting it pass without as much negative behavior from me. My mom and I started a morning routine of reading Bible verses and a devotion about it. I would write a morning report about it and post it on Facebook. I came to the realization that I could sit still by concentrating on God’s word and what I learned from it. I could calm my worries.

When I was able to relax more, I started to type much better with teachers. I got used to each person’s style of working with me. I wanted to work harder to be able to participate in regular classes. I was not able to go regularly until grade 7 when I started science, social studies, and technology. I learned to advocate for myself by typing my intentions at my IEP meeting. I almost was denied the opportunity but my speaking up in person made the difference.

My body is still lacking control though I have come very far. Taming my body is more than I can handle alone. That is why I needed an aide at all times. An aide keeps me on task and makes sure I do not get too distracted. I could not get through my days without my amazing aides. I learned to be more disciplined with my body but I know I must continue to work hard at this.

Impulsive behaviors sometimes set back my progress. I sometimes get in a phase of impulsivity where I do irrational things like flipping light switches rapidly or slamming doors. I know it annoys others a lot but I feel compelled to keep doing it. I have learned when I get impulsive, I have to stop what I am doing and question myself why I am doing it. I can sometimes make impulses go away faster now.

I have just finished 8th grade. I participated in my graduation ceremony. I walked across the stage by myself to receive my certificate. It was a very proud moment for me. I even went to the dance after. It was fun. I am going to miss Heim very much.

I am both excited and nervous to start high school.  It will be brand new with different teachers and aides. It is going to be another adjustment but maybe I will be more able to adjust better now. I have gained a lot of wisdom these past few years. I want my high school experience to be as good as middle school.  I hope everyone there will believe in me like my teachers in middle school did.

Philip

Copyright 2017 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.

How I Have Learned

Dear Phillip

I have a question for you and your mom please.

When you were young before RPM, how did you learn?

I mean did you learn from your therapy sessions or was it from your mom or was it self learning?

Thanks a lot,

MH

Dear MH, 

I have been learning since I was very young. I look like I can’t learn. I waited to make my intelligence manifest. When I was practicing talking as a young child, I would get mad about not being able to say what I very much wanted to say. I wanted to tell my family I was smart, that I wanted to make conversation, and I love them. I wanted to talk so badly. Instead the wrong words came out.

Learning comes from all around me. In practically every moment learning about the world happens. Learning to make an opinion starts with making observations. All you need are your mind and senses. I make use of all my senses. My most relied-on sense is my hearing. I used to learn to read on my own by matching the words mom read to the words on the page she read. Mom read me lots of books. I learned a lot from mom creating lessons everywhere we went. Probably the biggest way I learned was through songs. I love music. My preschool teachers sang to me to get me to talk. I would feel me learning to rock to the beat and practice seeing the lyrics in my head. At church I learned to read the lyrics of worship songs.

I learned from my therapies somewhat. In ABA (Applied Behavioral Analysis) I learned to make the most of a babyish education by memorizing writings I saw on signs or books in the classroom. ABA taught me to be malleable to get food. Learning was not challenging or fun. I did not need the repetition. Once I learn something, I want to learn something new and interesting. ABA had me repeating the same goals for years.

My favorite therapy before RPM was RDI (Relationship Development Intervention). I liked making my body useful by helping around the house doing chores like laundry, dishes, and lots of other chores. I also liked playing with my family.

RPM is by far the best thing I learned. I am now able to attend regular school. I love it. Meaningful communication allows me to show my intelligence and converse with other people.

Philip

I Belong

I belong in this world like everyone else. I have not always felt welcome. For years I was excluded from regular education. Not learning things was practically like death to my mind. I withered away in my own head. I became placated by stims and low expectations. Life grew comfortably boring. I grew to believe my life would never improve. Meaningless would be my life. I can’t begin to tell you how heavy my sorrow was. I wanted to die and be free of this hell.

I am not in hell anymore. I escaped by Mom’s help. Mom learned RPM (Rapid Prompting Method). She made sure I learned many things like my siblings. Mom learned to teach me like Soma (the creator of RPM). She practiced until we got academics down. Then she made a meaningful leap to ask me to express myself. It was really hard at first. I had many meltdowns because it was so hard to make my thoughts come to the forefront of my mind, which was used to being numb. I felt overwhelmed with emotion. Sometimes it was extreme happiness. Sometimes it was extreme sadness for being so trapped in a disobedient body. I would often bang my head out of anger and frustration. Meaning to my meltdowns was lamenting my autism for making my life so difficult to fit in.

My life gets better every day. Making peace with my autism has made me happier. I get meaningful education at school. Partnering with my school, I have been able to make a good transition from my old life at a special school to my new life at public school. My teachers believe in me. They help me feel so welcome and like I belong there. I have taught my teachers and classmates about autism. Helping them understand autism puts me at ease. My life is more meaningful now. I have been able to progress more. Learning is interesting and challenging. I am always looking for the most learning. Last year I advocated for myself to go to regular classes at my IEP meeting. The committee listened to me. This year I am taking regular science and social studies. I love being in these classes. I am making friends too. My world is so much more welcoming now that they can understand me. Making a more understanding world is my goal. Peace be with you.

Philip

Philip among the top achievers at Christian Service Brigade

Answers to Questions About School

A teacher writes:

Hi Philip! I look forward to all of your posts and want you to know how interested I am in learning from you. I work with kids who are autistic, mostly "high functioning"-Asperger's. I feel like I could sit with you and ask a million questions but I will limit it to those that are most concerning to me.

1.) Many of the kids I work with are defiant at times. They do not want to do their school work even though they are capable. Sometimes this causes teachers and aides to become frustrated and feel the student is lazy and stubborn. How can I help educate teachers and aides on how to deal with this? How do I help the student to comply with school expectations without a meltdown?

2.) Do you believe it is best for an autistic student to have the same expectations as the other students in the class or is it best to modify? Ie: reduced number of problems to complete, use of a calculator permitted instead of having to do math in your head, use of a scribe instead of taking notes, not having to do "abstract art" assignments. I would love to hear your input on this. I know from my students many things challenge them but they can not put into words a way to adequately explain this to teachers. Help!

By Philip

I want to explain about performance at school.  Autism presents many challenges. Anxiety is the biggest one. Other challenges are sensory difficulties like crowds and noisy halls, my movement challenges, and inability to communicate quickly and efficiently. I think kids like me seem defiant because they get anxious about not being able to meet people's expectations. Manners are hard to follow because our bodies do not often follow directions. I love to do what is right. Most of us do. Meltdowns occur mostly from being unable to meet expectations and feeling made to blame for it because of poor character. You can tell your fellow teachers and aides that we mean peace but our capability is most affected by our anxiety.  Sometimes anxiety stops us by telling ourselves we can't do it. We freeze. Patience masters more problem behavior than yelling. You can help students meet expectations by setting goals that are challenging and interesting. How to make good goals is to solve the puzzle about what makes each of us care to learn. People are all different. For example, I am motivated to learn about nature, good biographies, and God. My friend Max is interested in drawing and bowling. We can learn many things from our interests. I do most well answering questions about interesting things. Another thing I need are patient teachers. They can help get my thoughts out of my head by encouraging me to type. I have many thoughts stuck in my mind.  I need some help in getting them out. I need someone especially understanding of my challenges and needs. When a person believes I am intelligent and trying my best, I can do my work best. I will have fewer meltdowns if you don't yell, raise your voice, or accuse me of being defiant or lazy. Pace my day with breaks because I get tired easily. I need to recharge often by relaxing. I prefer music, rocking in a rocking chair, and leaning on a beanbag. After a short break, I can work again.

I think modifications and accommodations should be allowed for those who can't show success otherwise.  I am unable to keep up with typical kids in showing my work but I am equally able to understand the lessons. I would never finish my assignments on time without accommodations and modifications. Modifications such as assigning me a project I can do rather than abstract art I can't do makes better use of everyone's time. Modifications such as giving me fewer problems can allow me to address people's expectation that I know the material, but not overwhelm me with the amount of time it takes to answer. A scribe allows me to type rather than handwrite on worksheets that I can't do on my own.  Modifications and accommodations are important for my success.

Copyright 2015 Philip Reyes.  All rights reserved.